Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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