Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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