On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
