o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
