its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
