Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
