So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
