He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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