all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
