I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What a dumb baby whore.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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