Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I understand Curling. That high.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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