we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
