we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize