i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
