if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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