We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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