i can't believe i had my finger in that
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
