we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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