the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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