you win again, gameday.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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