The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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