Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
