I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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