you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
