And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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