..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
