I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
