Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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