Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
