So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
