Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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