So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
