Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
