i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
