i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
