We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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