so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize