Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
