He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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