she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
