i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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