all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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