We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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