this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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