I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
