I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
