i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
