Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
