everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
