I got chris browned last night
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
