PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
