Well douche your snatch and let's go!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
