it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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