the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
