I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
