you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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